


Flriting Fails

by 01Ace10



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, One F bomb, This is a crack fic, do not take this seriously, some language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-19 11:44:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9438713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/01Ace10/pseuds/01Ace10
Summary: Peter can’t stop flirting with you.  Not to mention in front of your Captain, Hook.  Akwardness and bad pick up lines are guarantied.





	

“You’re cute.”

“Well, thank you?”

“Can I keep you?

“N-no!”  You had only been on Neverland for five minutes and Peter has already managed to make you feel small and strange.  Not that it took much, it was easy for others to make you feel insecure and when you did you became defensive and sassy.  Most girls would think it was a cute attempt at flirting but you knew better.  You knew no one would ever  
think that you were attractive.  Although you looked confident your Captain could see your change in mood and stepped in.

“Pan, my crew and I are done here we just need permission off the island.”  You smile glad that Hook diverted Peter’s attention away from you.

“Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?”

“Cute, but no.” you couldn’t help the words that flowed from your mouth.  For a second you were afraid Peter would get mad at you.  Or at least until you saw him smile.

“There is definitely something wrong with my bed.”  You look between Peter and Killian trying to understand what is even going on.  Peter is smirking waiting for a response, and  
Hook is rubbing his eyes with his hand clearly annoyed.

“Are you seriously just going to stand there until I ask what it is?”  He continued staring at you.

“Just get it over with, I want to get out of here,” Killian has lost his patients with Peter and hopefully not you. 

“Fine, what is wrong with your bed?”

“You’re not in it.”

“You are impossible Peter.”

“Fuck me if I’m wrong, but do you want to kiss me?”  You could hear Killian beside you groan, probably feeling extremely awkward and just wanting to leave.  For a second you panicked you couldn’t say yes or no.  But what else was there to say, unless.

“Maybe, I always keep my options open.”  

“Did you buy your pants on sale because at my place they would be 100% off.”  Okay now he has gone beyond making you uncomfortable.  You were getting mad.

“Screw you, Peter.”

“That is a terrible idea, let’s do it.”  All of your brilliant comebacks flew out the window.

“Stop.”

“Why?  I am sure I could make you very happy.”  That stupid smug smirk.  It’s infuriating.

“How, are you leaving?”  There was that comeback.  Where the heck did it go a second ago. 

“You won’t get rid of me that easy.”

“You must be the Pied Piper then.”

“Why is that, love?”

“Because you are a massive douchebag and I want to punch you in the face.”  Not as clever as you could have been but still it got your point across.

“What is it like to be the most beautiful girl in the world?”

“What is it like being the biggest liar in the world?”  He could at least try to be believable. 

“Stop being shy go on and ask me out.  You know you want to.”

“Okay.  Go out.”

“Ouch that hurts.

“I hope it hurt as much as when you crawled out of hell, bloody demon.”  He paused and simply looked at your face.  You would think he was thinking of a comeback except he seemed to be studying you.  When he looked back into your eyes you were certain he had you memorized.

“You are perfect.  Where have you been all my life?”

“Hiding from you.”  you smirk hoping you won this stupid little argument.  But Peter continues to act as cocky as ever.

“What are you doing this friday night?”  You pause taken aback by the fact that he is actually asking you out.  For a split second you almost consider his offer before you come up with a brilliant comeback.

“Not you.”  Simple sweet and ego destroying.

“Are you two done?  I honestly want to go home now, so can we just leave?”  Hook tapped his foot in annoyance.


End file.
